Hair and Neurodivergence

I am autistic and experience the world as a neuro-divergent person. This impacts my life every day in both incredibly useful, and sometimes very annoying, ways. Yes, I find it hard to concentrate when the lights are too bright and I’m super susceptible to certain bad smells (particularly the smell of crockery which can be so absolutely disgusting that it ruins any meal or drink in them!), but it also means I can spend a week researching an obscure French hairstyle and just have the time of my life!

I do feel like being neurodivergent and being a barber/hairdresser goes hand-in-hand. Like to be someone who is so excited by fixing minute details and is able to concentrate for long periods of time just doing the same action over and over again. You also need to have extensive knowledge of the science of hair, fashion and culture to be good in this role, and I think it’s a business that neurodivergent people can thrive in.

A way in which my neurodivergence impacts being a barber, is that when I cut hair and the client is checking it out in the mirror, it feels important to me for the client to not just focus on what the hair looks like, but also how it feels. Sometimes the haircut looks great but when you run your fingers through it, it can feel a bit too long. That’s important! For many of us, hair is used as a stim. When I cut my own hair, I do most of it by touch instead of sight because I never really see the back of my head but I touch it all the time, so for me, the way I interact with my hair is more important than what it looks like. That’s why after an appointment, even if I’ve dried and styled my client’s hair perfectly, I ask them to play with it and do what they usually do with it, because I believe hair to be much more of a tactile experience than a visual one.

One of the things I find difficult about this job though, is that I know I would have more clients and earn more money if I got a job in a salon or barbershop; like financially, that makes the most sense. But I can’t. Salons and barbershops have a lot going for them, but my discomfort in them is literally WHY I decided to go down this path and train as a barber. I know I’m sacrificing a lot by doing this alone, but it really feels like the most accessible option for me. Overhead lighting is awful, constantly being around lots of people is awful, having to stand in front of a big mirror the whole day is awful (I have that thing where I don’t really recognise myself in my face and that is really disconcerting after a while). Part of my want to create accessible hair services for my client comes from my want to make this job accessible for me! I like being able to offer a salon space (the caravan) as a private little studio for my client, but honestly, having a private salon space is why I’m able to do this – it’s quiet, cosy and a place where I can put all my focus into the client.

Many of us are coming to understand our neurodivergence later in life. For whatever reason, our wonderful neurodivergent ways were just seen as being super picky and weird so we’ve grown up putting all of our energy into trying to fit in. Because of this, we have just accepted that to be alive is to be in discomfort. But it doesn’t have to be that way, we can be (and deserve to be) comfortable too. I want to create a space where people can lean into their neurodivergence and be fully accepted for it. This doesn’t, however, mean you need to come to me fully actualised, you can just come as you are and we can work it out together. It’s absolutely fine if you have certain needs one appointment and completely different needs the next. It’s okay if one time you really like the smell of a product and then hate it the next time. I’m up for being on that journey with you!

The Struggles

The vast majority of my current clientele are neurodivergent. Here are some sensory issues and struggles that I (and some of my clients) experience while getting a haircut:

Hating the sensation of cut hair touching skin
Feeling pain when the hair is cut (even though no skin is being touched)
Difficulty sitting still (either due to tics, stimming, or feeling fidgety)
Either not wanting to look into the mirror at all or needing to look into the mirror to see when they’re being touched
Not being able to make (or feeling really anxious at the prospect of making) small talk
Not being able to speak up or articulate their needs
Hating being touched in general
Discomfort at loud noises like the hairdryer
Sensory overload, bad lighting
Needing ear defenders on during the appointment
The smell of products being overwhelming
General anxiety, general overwhelm
Struggling with the change of a haircut even if they like the outcome
Anxiety in new environments
Trichotillomania
The feeling of being under a cape
The feeling of wet hair

This is by far not an exhaustive list! There are so many other struggles that neuro-divegent folk can have when it comes to hair appointments. Let me know in the comments or message me directly if there are things that you struggle with that I haven’t included here as I hope to make these services accessible to all those that find hair appointments a challenge.

The Joy

When talking about neuro-divergence, we very often just talk about the struggles we face, but it’s a lot rarer to talk about the joy of it all. So here are some examples of neurodivergent joy that I experience during hair appointments with my clients:

Seeing the joy people have when their hair (that has been overstimulating for far too long) is finally cut
Hearing clients delve into their special interests (one of my absolute favourite things to listen to – info dump on me all day baby!)
They often have a really good and interesting music taste
I love how funny my clients can be
When they discover an ASMR feeling during the haircut (like the feeling of a razor or the sound of the scissors)
Seeing how my clients interact with Obi and really understand him
The impressive way some of my clients can sit perfectly still and raw dog the whole appointment
Feeling my client’s anxiety lessen during the appointment as we both get more comfortable with each other
The really interesting perspectives you all have and the way we can sometimes talk for a whole hour and end back on the topic we started with
The great haircut inspo pics they share with me

Again, this isn’t exhaustive! There are so many moments of joy I experience with my clients, and I am so grateful that I’m able to do a job where I end the day feeling better than I started it. I put so much time and energy into this business, and at times capitalism confuses me and makes me feel like I’m not doing well enough, but then I experience this kind of joy with a client and am reminded that I’m exactly where I need to be, the world just needs to catch up.